Enlightened Women

This past week, we celebrated the 303rd birthday of an amazing enlightened woman. No, I’m not talking about myself, although sometimes I feel like this woman has taken up residence in my own head.

Her name? Gabrielle-Émilie Le Tonnelier de Breteuil, Marquise du Châtelet, more commonly known as Émilie du Châtelet, born December 17, 1706.

She was not the first, nor has she been the last woman to juggle a husband, children, several lovers outside her marriage, and still manage to be a renowned academician. Any woman who can be sexual and a scientist at the same time has my vote. Brains and promiscuity are not mutually exclusive. The most famous of her lovers was Voltaire, and it was with him that she achieved so much in the scientific world.

No wonder men fell at Émilie’s feet – a seductive smarty-pants with her bosoms pushed up above a low neckline and her billowing skirt hiding other treasures. It’s fun to fantasize about enlightened women like Émilie. I can just imagine men fumbling around and getting lost in her massive skirts as they seek enlightenment with her. I don’t think of her as coy, but rather as a strong woman with needs that could only be met by strong men. She would have intimidated lesser men.

She was lovely beyond words, and still was considered one of the primary scientific minds of the day. She was one of three scientists credited by Einstein as being influential in his work. Émilie was not allowed the elevated status of male scientists, however.

Is it so different today? Have we really gotten much beyond 18th century mentality? Is it time for a new Age of Enlightenment? There are small pockets of folks who believe we should take away the women’s right to vote! Look it up on Google if you don’t believe me!

As an instructor in higher education, I watch as young women are guided into careers that are considered to be more fulfilling for women – nurses, teachers, secretaries. And the young men get much the same treatment. We still wonder what’s wrong with a young man wanting to go into nursing or a young woman who wants to be a mechanic.

And it goes beyond that. A woman who flirts and flaunts is considered to be a bimbo, someone without brains. A woman who dresses sedately and wears glasses is thought to be the scholar. I love the fact that Émilie could be someone’s mistress, enjoy an active sexual life, and still be brainy.

Reading about her was exciting! By the time she was twelve years old, she spoke six languages. In her twenties, she became immensely interested in Newton’s ideas, and with her most well-known lover, Voltaire, she helped to spread Newton’s work. She translated Newton’s Principia into French from the original Latin in order to help spread his ideas.

I celebrate her birth, her courage, and her inspiration to the rest of us. May we all allow ourselves be as enlightened as Émilie du Châtelet.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~ ~

Fanny

Promscuity Part 2

Last Sunday, I addressed the issue of promiscuity, as described by Webster and Roget. This week I want to give other perspectives. As I said before, there are several factors involved in how one would view promiscuity.

I would want to take into account the age, the gender, the relationship of the individual to others, the lifestyle, and more. Think about the following examples:

• If a young teen is exploring the world of sexuality, is that promiscuous or is it normal experimentation?
• Is that different from a young adult who is engaged to be married, or perhaps is already married, and decides to mix things up?
• What about the couple in a committed relationship who mutually decides to become engaged in swinging?
• How about a widowed or divorced older adult who is suddenly free from work or family obligations, and now decides it’s time to enjoy life before s/he is too old or dead?
• What about the example I gave last week of someone who feels abandoned in the relationship and needs to find enjoyment elsewhere?
• Is there a difference between promiscuity and adultery? If so, what?

This is only the beginning of examples any of us could find. I believe it depends on how strongly someone feels about their commitment – or non-commitment – to a relationship. It depends on what a person’s individual needs might be. I would consider whether the promiscuity had crossed the line into sex addiction, which can be disastrous.

Soon after my divorce many years ago, I was promiscuous. I had gone from living with my parents to a girl’s dormitory to marriage for twenty years. I’d never had the chance to explore my sexuality, and I had many casual lovers. Those were enjoyable years, and I learned a lot about who I was, what I really wanted or didn’t want in a relationship, and the type of person I needed to be with (if with anyone at all).

If someone is in a committed relationship, I highly recommend that they discuss their individual needs and come to some agreement. There are ways to involve promiscuity in a civilized manner, and especially if you want to continue in the primary relationship. In today’s world, new ways of keeping a relationship alive are more generally accepted.

Check out my earlier post on polyamory, or another post I did on swinging. Just two weeks ago, I gave sites where you could find other couples interested in swinging.

Sometimes you discover that who you already have is better than anyone else, but just as often, you decide that it is better to take the leap and leave permanently. There are losses and gains on both sides of that question.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this. Please leave comments! In the meantime, think about the many ways you can refresh your world. Life wasn’t meant to be boring.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~
Fanny

Promiscuity Part 1

One reader asked if I would comment on promiscuity. Oh boy! That’s a topic that could be fraught with all sorts of danger!

How one would view promiscuity depends on more than one factor. I think we need to look at a dictionary or a thesaurus first. This will give us a definition and other words to use for this same status.

My dictionary of choice (because it’s all I have at home) is Webster’s New World Dictionary, Second College Edition. It’s old, but I don’t imagine the meaning has changed that much over the past decade or so. The first definition given there states: “Consisting of different elements mixed together or mingled without sorting or discrimination.

Well, my goodness! That could mean a lot of things, couldn’t it? Sometimes I am promiscuous in my cooking. I just mix up a bunch of stuff indiscriminately in a big old cast iron skillet or a large stew pot and it turns out to be a delicious goulash. Maybe I should rename it “Fanny’s Promiscuous Stew.”

Sometimes my garden is rather promiscuous, too. I just toss a bunch of seeds in a little section outside and they all pollinate together to bloom. Pollinating each other sounds a bit sexy, if you ask me.

Since the first definition is not exactly what I think my reader was talking about, let’s try the second definition that old man Webster came up with. Here he says “Characterized by a lack of discrimination.” Anything to go on here?

Of course, that might lead us to wonder what “discrimination” means. A girl could get lost in the vast world of research if she followed every word, searching for a clearer meaning.

Okay, on to the scholarly Mr. Webster’s third definition. He states that promiscuous means “without plan or purpose, or casual.” Let’s follow that one for a minute or two. Does that mean if I’m casually having afternoon tea with someone, I’m promiscuous?

Or perhaps it means that if I go for a walk on a sunny afternoon “without plan or purpose” I’m being promiscuous? If that’s the case, then I’m often promiscuous because I like not being tied to a schedule or having to follow someone else’s agenda.

Since Webster hasn’t done much to satisfy the generally accepted meaning of promiscuous, let’s check my thesaurus (a little more up to date than my dictionary). The first word there is abandoned, followed by words such as easy, licentious, loose, unbridled, wanton, wild. Those are the meanings most people give to the word promiscuous.

Putting all of this together, I came up with this thought. Using Webster’s definitions and the first word in Roget’s 21st Century Thesaurus, how about someone who is feeling abandoned, therefore without plan or purpose, decides to mix things up?

Oh, what a devious mind Fanny has!

I have other thoughts on promiscuity and I’ll give those to you next week. In the meantime, enjoy life to the fullest! Life lasts too long not to have a good time.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~
Fanny