In the Spirit of Lilith

Lilith first came to me through a Jewish friend almost twenty years ago. I had expressed some of my sexual desires to her and the problems I thought I had with relationships. Typically, I’ve been too strong for most of the men I bring into my life.

In our conversation, my friend looked at me and said, “You are Lilith.” I had no idea who she was talking about at the time, but the concept sounded erotic and exciting.

Since then, I have read everything I could about Lilith, and I share her with you as your own personal Goddess.

Some of the Jewish mystical texts say that Lilith was Adam’s first wife. According to the legend, Adam wouldn’t let Lilith be on top when they were having sex, because he felt he was superior to her. Lilith claimed that she had been created out of the earth just the same way Adam had, and that made her his equal in all things, including the sex act.

I’m not clear whether Adam kicked her out of the Garden of Eden, or if Lilith just decided to leave and go out into the world on her own. Knowing what I know about her now, I’m sure she just took off on her own. It wouldn’t be like her to have gone just because Adam told her to go.

There are many other stories that have been told about Lilith over the centuries. One says that Adam had gotten tired of coupling with the animals in his herds, so he asked God for another human with whom he could mate. Once again, Lilith wouldn’t accept Adam’s male dominance so she left.

Yet another story says that Lilith and Adam were created as twins, joined at the back. When Lilith was not given the equality she deserved, she left in anger.

Lilith has had a bad rap for thousands of years, as have most women. She represented the evil of sexuality and created great fear in men’s hearts. Any woman who could make a man feel randy, or seduce him into “immoral” acts, had to be evil.

According to some of the stories, she comes to men in their dreams, copulating with them, which makes the men have nocturnal emissions, or “wet dreams.” Naughty Lilith!

There are stories that Lilith killed babies, so new mothers placed amulets around the cribs to protect their newborns from her.

The more I read about Lilith, the more I did not believe the stories about her. On the contrary, she came to represent my own lusty character. Lilith gave me permission to be more sexually alive without shame.

Throughout my teen years, I walked the line between being a “good girl” and a “bad girl.” The “bad girl” wanted more time, but the “good girl” kept me in line. She wasn’t always successful, but I paid the price.

As I became an adult, I continued being the “good girl” on the outside, but inside, my “bad girl” was rebelling loudly. Even marriage couldn’t contain the “bad girl,” and like Lilith, I finally ran away. I began to understand the darkness in my soul that drove me to living out my “bad girl” without being disgraced.

I can’t begin to tell you everything about Lilith here. Please go to www.lilithinstitute.com and look at all the work there. I suggest that you read Liturgy for Lilith by Cosi Fabian for a beautiful ode to this incredibly sexy lady, with the free-flowing hair, big breasts, and insatiable sex drive.

If you can identify with Lilith as much as I do, there are a couple books I recommend you read to learn more. The first is Lilith's Fire by Deborah Grenn-Scot that is about Lilith only. The second book, The Dark Archetype, discusses other dark goddesses and gods, which includes Lilith. Both are fascinating to read.





Watch for Lilith to appear again next week. I’ve decided that Fanny's "bad girl" is tame compared to Lilith. Maybe I should change my name to Lilith!

I blow you a kiss ~ ~

Fanny

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What Kind of Writer Am I?

On a blog I regularly read, the question was “What type of writer should you be?” There was a brief survey that I filled in and this is what I discovered.

You Should Be a Film Writer!

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

I have never really thought about what kind of writer I am or should be. Mostly, I just write what I’m thinking about, and that can be dangerous territory. I suggest that you check out the website and look at some of their other surveys.

For instance, there is a survey to see if you would be a good wife or husband, to find out if you are a physical flirt, and are you in love?

I haven’t bothered with the one that asks if I’m an attention whore. I already know I am not, although I would like to be!

Maybe I will consider writing film noir and focus on sexual fantasies and other moral ambiguities. That’s where my head is most of the time.

Now I can fill my head with my new designation! Anyone want to star in my next film?

(Laughing hysterically here)

Ever since I found out that I am a “film writer,” I’ve had a lot of scenarios go through my head. Most of them take off from my blog a couple weeks ago. I’ve also been reading up on How to Write A Movie in 21 Days. It's an old book, but still excellent material.



I’d love to see what kind of spin some of you would put on my fantasies to make them into a good film. Help me out here! Since my SO is out of town for another week or so, I need some stimulation!

I blow you a kiss,

Fanny

The Role of Fantasy

Last week I had fun thinking up a few combination fantasy locations. I’ve had some great comments from that post, and I have to admit that some of those ideas I wrote about were a bit titillating for me, too.

Questions always seem to come up about the role of fantasy in our lives, and whether it is a good idea to make our fantasies become reality. What a dull world this would be if we never fantasized, but what a dangerous world this could be if we actually acted out some of our fantasies.

Why do we fantasize? Is there some sort of psychological need in us that creates fantasies that we might never really want to happen? Fantasy is a safe way to release our culturally repressed tendencies, a way for certain hidden desires to emerge from within a moralistic society. It performs a therapeutic function.

The reasons for fantasy do not seem to be the same for both genders. I have read that men who fantasize generally do not have much of an actual sex life, if any. Women who fantasize, on the other hand, usually have a fairly active sex life. We women can come up with all sorts of stories to fan our fire into greater flame.

Women may fantasize about being raped (which does not mean they want to be, nor does it condone rape). In their minds, they get turned on about being seduced or attacked by someone they don’t know. The woman who has actually been raped will not have that fantasy again, if she ever did.

On Father’s Day, I talked about the fantasy some women have about being “Daddy’s Little Girl.” Some men fantasize about being Mommy’s or Daddy’s "Little Boy.”

One woman came to me as a client, saying she always fantasized about being the maid in someone’s home and that the master of the house always had his way with her, often spanking her for some misdeed. She thought maybe something was wrong with her, and I assured her she was quite normal.

Some women go beyond spanking and fantasize about being tied down and rendered helpless, and may have a partner who agrees to that sort of sexual play, complete with appropriate costuming. Along with that might come the fantasy of being flogged or whipped.

This could border on abuse if not entered into with caution and consent. In fact, the key for this type of fantasy play is “safe, sane, and consensual.” There are a number of books and websites where you can find more information, discuss the topic with others in “the scene,” explore your feelings, and so much more.

Years ago, I happened to run across an old book with a copyright of 1974, S-M The Last Taboo: A Study of SadoMasochism, by Gerald and Caroline Greene. My copy is well-worn, falling apart, and full of termite holes. Because it was written thirty-four years ago, I assumed it was no longer in print. On a fluke, I went to Amazon and found that there is a newer edition. The opening picture is the front cover of that edition.

The following link will take you to a page for the old edition, but if you scroll down just a little, you will see “also available in…” Click on the second line for the paperback (2nd Blue Moon Books Ed.) and it will take you to the page for the newer 2003 edition.

The Greene couple have done a thorough and fascinating study on this theme of Sado-Masochism, which I will refer to as “s-m.” Although my old copy does not have a bibliography, the text is full of cited quotes from scholastic authorities.

They have devoted one entire chapter to Havelock Ellis (1859-1939). Ellis covered this topic of s-m in many of his papers. One such was a “Love and Pain” monograph, clearly distinguishing between fantasy and reality. The Wikipedia article about him is erotic reading in itself.

Why do I have such a dearly loved moth-eaten book? I have to admit that whether or not I would ever enter into such a relationship, reading about it is exceedingly arousing for me. At times my imagination takes me to places of incomprehensible delight (blush).

The last 122 pages of their book is devoted to extracts from many books that had been censored at one time. According to the authors, “they mostly employ fantasy and are unashamed in their delight…” Those are the most worn pages in my old copy.

There are many books on this particular theme of s-m, but I want to recommend several books by John Warren, PhD. If you are interested in buying one, please click on these links.



May you enjoy all of these books on a lazy afternoon and be "unashamed in your delight!"

I blow you a kiss,
Fanny