Dream Fantasies

Today is my birthday! No, I’m not going to tell you how old I am, but I can bet my bottom. . . uh, dollar I’m older than you!

So on my birthday, I’d like to indulge in fantasy. This time, my fantasies are not about what sort of kinky thing I’m going to do either with someone else or alone.

This time, my fantasies are about kinky places I’d like to live.

Fantasies are like this golden glow on Lake Powell at sunset. They are real, but illusive and often fleeting. Maybe someday one of my fantasies will come true – and I don’t think I’d be there alone!

My brother and I can talk about almost anything – and we do. He came up with a wonderful mini-proposal for a nude farming polyamorous co-op. Let’s see, does that mean we’d all run around in the nude, planting potatoes and feeding the chickens, having more than one lover? I haven’t quite figured out how the co-op part fits in, but I imagine he’ll explain it to me.

How about a surfing diaper-lover organic restaurant? All the surfer dudes and dudettes would be wearing organic cotton diapers while they serve homegrown food to patrons.

Or an S/m peacenik orchard? The highway sign would sport a body tied to a cherry tree (a bit of symbolism there, huh?) while the locals wave peace signs at passers-by and invite them in to sample the . . . um. . . fruit.

Maybe an island bar for aging Scots? All the old folks (male and female) wear kilts in the traditional style while they drink and cavort around the island.

There should be a retreat location created for cross-dressing fetishist dog trainers. (Don’t ask.)

Or perhaps a Greek-style swingers health spa? We would all have Greek-style sex with other members while we wait our turn for a healthy colon cleansing in the sunning booth, drinking ginger tea.

I suspect there are many who would go for a thong orgy golf course. There would be a country club connected to it for special dances and parties when the awards were given out for the most revealing thong, as well as the lowest golf score.

Someone might enjoy a fantasy community with a public spanking bench where folks of either gender are disciplined by the Head of their Household and others who choose to help with the administration.

When choosing the nursing home for my old age, I’d like to be cared for by nude and virile young men and women of all sizes and shapes. If I got bored with the TV reruns, I would have them perform for me.

I’ve often thought about establishing a Home for Broken Down Broads. Aging prostitutes and dirty old men and women could gather for fun and games. Payment for “services” could be with Monopoly money so that those of us on Social Security could afford it.

There is definitely a place for a village where everyone could play whatever role they wanted – Doctor/patient, Daddy/little girl, Policeman/jaywalker, Teacher/student – all dressed their part. An endless list of role playing!

In any of these neighborhoods we would need to make sure there was an adult toy store, a porn movie house, a fetish clothing shop, and an animal shelter. All of these sites would give us access to horse-back riding, fresh milk and eggs, and plenty of farming areas. We would need to be self-sufficient, because an outside world would either avoid us completely, send local authorities after us, or beat a path to our door for entrance.

Please, please let your imaginations run wild and send me your suggestions. I’ll do whatever I can to make your fantasies come true – at least on this blog!

In the meantime, please support the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom. We all are being fingered (so to speak) for sexual acts far more benign than the fantasies I’ve created here.

I blow you a kiss,
Fanny

The Current Issue

As I write this blog for posting tonight, I want to remind you to vote in the Primary Election! I voted early this morning, and out of that exercise came this particular post. Some people may think I have no business getting political in a blog about sex matters, but in this case, it’s time we understand how closely the two are related. I’m feeling it at a gut level.

I’m disgusted with the hype around “the current issue” and her family. I won’t dwell on it, because I don’t want to give her that much energy or time. I do suggest that you read blogs that go into it quite well. I won’t add to the numbers, but I encourage you to be a critical thinker in this election.

So in that spirit, I offer you several links. Please read them! Most relate to our interest in sex and sexuality in some tangential way. No matter which political party you support, the “current issue” must surely be against what we sexophiles stand for – freedom.

Greta Christina writes a wonderful blog on sex toys and issues. I highly recommend one of her recent posts. After you read that, you may want to subscribe for the latest and greatest in toys (fanning myself here).

An article on www.alternet.org indirectly relates to my current issue. Margot Canaday of The Nation talks about how the sodomy laws came into being. It was not about being gay or lesbian, but about any act that was not for procreation. That seems to come under the heading of “no form of birth control for teens,” doesn’t it?

Three years ago, The Salon initiated a blog called “The Broadsheet.” It reminds me that gender is political. There is usually one “WTF” post, and recently there has been a regular comment on “The Daily Palin.” Their last issue had an exceptionally good read by Sarah Hepola.

Some of the issues surrounding the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate would be funny, if they weren’t so scary. This article comes from www.ewire.com, a blog on environment, health, science, and technology. It describes the “Rubber Dodo” award given to the woman who is “the current issue.” (At first, I read that as Rubber Dildo! You can tell where my mind is!) No one deserves that award as much as Sarah.

I think the entire world must think the U.S. is nuts! Here is an article from www.care2.com, a news network out of Australia that presents socially conscious news.

Let’s take a quick break from all this insanity and have a really good belly laugh!

Now back to “the current issue.” Visit http://today.msnbc.msn.com/ and click on "Palin reality check" for a truly great story. But hurry! It might be taken off the web in the great cover-up.

Two of my favorite authors and columnists are Anne Lamott and Garrison Keillor. Both have written excellent articles on “the current issue” that were published in The Salon. Keillor’s tongue-in-cheek comments are particularly wonderful.

Lamott’s article expresses my feelings exactly. I’ll conclude this post by saying I agree with her comments below the title of the article.

She says, “How to handle the fury brought on by this election? Register voters, hit the streets, pray. Stop talking about her. Talk about Obama.”

So I promise this is the last time you’ll hear me rant on about “the current issue.”

Zipping my lip!

How Can I Explain?

I recently was asked how a woman’s brain and body work together. I’ll do my best to answer. This may or may not be brief, but if anyone really wants to know my answer to this question this morning, they will read it through. Because I cannot speak for all women, this will be about me. Still I’m sure many women find themselves in the same place.

How often I have said that I am a complicated person. I’ve known that all along. I have a hunch this is fairly typical of most women, which is why men say they will never understand us.

For me, sex can be either strictly physical, or it can be a combination of physical and psychological or emotional. Fortunately, during my single years, I learned how to make it more strictly physical, so I wouldn’t get hurt emotionally. I was ready to give it up entirely because I was tired of the “game.”

Then my lover came along – and out of the blue, sex became both physical and psychological/emotional again – for better or worse. It is scary to be so vulnerable.

There are times when I am overwhelmed with a sexual need, and it’s not just when we get together after being apart for several weeks. He likes to refer to it as a "virgin" quality. Sometimes that raw sexual need comes after he’s been here a couple days, and has nothing to do with not being "used" for a while.

It also comes when he is not here. That’s masturbation time!

Sometimes when he first gets here, what I really want is for him to hold me tight, caress me, tell me how he’s missed me. That is sexual for me, although not specifically "sex." I need the spoken words more than he does.

I’ve often told clients that there are a million ways to make love – sex is only one! I recently wrote about it in a post. So when we are working together outside or on any project, that (to me) is making love, too. Teaching together, cooking or eating a meal together, all of that is making love.

So back to SEX. Sometimes I like it the way he does - light lubrication, nice erect penis, feeling “taken” in a way, because I love his neediness, and I enjoy responding to it. The goal, however, is not orgasm specifically, but the entire act can be exceptionally satisfying. The same thing happens for him, so I know he understands.

What I need changes, too. Sometimes I need (and crave) a long time in the bed with him slowly fingering me. Sometimes I need (and crave) some of the more kinky ways we play.

The big question comes as to how to let him know when I need a certain style of sex, but the problem is that while I can write it (like here), I am still too shy to tell him what I’m needing. He’s attempting to pull me through that.

He knows the things that turn me on, and in the past, I’ve expected him to just spontaneously provide it. That’s not fair to him, and as a result, sometimes it doesn’t happen.

I know these feelings are not exclusively mine. Others who read it will say, “Oh yes, that’s exactly the way it is.”

I like it all! And whichever way he wants to start is absolutely fine with me! The idea is to just start!

I blow you a kiss ~
Fanny

Gallimaufry

Well, that word should send most of you scrambling for your dictionary!

I’ll save you the trouble. Like my name (Lucette) it originally came from the French. It was a hash made out of meat scraps. That should tell you where my head is today as I write my weekly words.

It’s been “one of those weeks,” kids. I was away at a writers conference for five days and came back to a full schedule that I wasn’t as well prepared for as usual. I take pride in being ready for anything that comes along, but this week clobbered me.

My brain is full of gallimaufry – in its original meaning. An alternate meaning for the word is “miscellany.” So that’s where we’ll go today. Maybe by next week, one distinct flavor will start to emerge from the hash.

What scraps of meat make up my gallimaufry?

The 2008 Erection – I mean Election! I hate to admit that there are some positives about everyone who is running, but that’s the problem. Having “some” positives isn’t enough to excite me about any candidate. I am in great fear and shame for our country. No matter how progressive we may pretend we have become in our thinking, we are still run by those who think any body part below the neck is to be ignored, avoided and labeled obscene. I don’t want to get started on all the election issues I think are crazy!

Sex! Sure I think about sex a lot – what kind, with whom, when, how often, why, and a host of other related questions. I learned long ago not to equate Sex with Love, but I still think about it. Can I love someone without having sex? Of course, but then I wonder “Why bother?” After the orgasm, then what? You need to have a connection of the intelligence, or a shared “cause,” or an activity beyond yourselves. My thoughts run amuck with all these questions.

Kink! Just what, who, where, when, how is “kink”? The word “kink” is basically a noun or an adjective (if you add the “y”). If you want to have some funky fun, look in Roget’s Thesaurus for all the various meanings. Probably every single one of the words listed can be used in a sexual way. Let your mind run away with “bend or twist,” “twisted,” “complication,” “idiosyncrasy,” “bizarre,” “perverted,” and my favorite, “spasm of muscular tissue.” There were 71 different words in my copy of Roget. That’s a lot of ways to have fun!

Television! I have spent most of my many years not watching TV. As a result, I never know where to put my set. Oh yes, I have a TV/VCR combo that I bought a thousand years ago. It’s not a sleek whatever-it-is that’s the newest thing in entertainment. But it serves my purpose (which is nothing). I do use it for watching movies occasionally, or when someone calls me and says there’s something happening I really need to see (like 9/11). I’ve kept it in my bedroom, but I get more pleasure out of other things in my bedroom besides watching TV - like reading, sleeping, dressing and undressing, and sexing. So the TV never is turned on. I recently moved it to my office, across from my computer so I can write and watch at the same time. My two favorite channels are the Weather Channel and the Food Channels. (Wonder what that says about me?) But I forget I have it handy now, and it still doesn’t get turned on much.

NEWS! I read my news online so I don’t watch it on TV, nor do I subscribe to a tangible newspaper. I even subscribe to my local daily newspaper online, rather than let a stack of newsprint accumulate in the corner. “News” isn’t true news, anyway. It only takes us back to an absurd election, a so-called “war” I don’t believe in, sex scandals that aren’t, and silly celebrities. What’s “new” about all that?? I’d rather sit here with my gallimaufry.

Birthdays! I’m the poster girl for Libra. I love any celebration, but who gives a damn about getting older? I’m growing older as gracefully as I possibly can, but there is no graceful way to hide the fact that I’m no longer in my twenties. In many ways, I believe I’m more beautiful and gracious now than when I was in my twenties – and I’m certainly wiser. But one piece of my meat hash is that another birthday will be here and gone by the end of this month.

Relationships! Yes, I’m in one, and with an absolutely wonderful man. We live a thirty-minute plane ride apart and are with each other in person about one week out of every three. That time apart is both Hell and Heaven. I love my time alone, but I miss him like crazy when he’s not here. Will that change? I don’t know, and at this point, it’s not critical. Maybe not living together is the reason we have such a good relationship. The familiarity of living in the same house brings up all sorts of problems that could be avoided.

Gifts! My honey usually sends gifts of fresh produce from his garden or building materials like screws (there seems to be something rather symbolic in that!), but recently he’s started sending me sexy panties! My choice has almost always been more utilitarian, but I’ve learned how to enjoy sexy panties under my conservative work clothes. (sigh) Each day he wants to know the pair du jour.

Well, I’ve had my fill of gallimaufry for now. As I wrote this hash or miscellany, my thoughts began to clear. I’m not as scattered as I was when I started, and I see a post coming in the future out of each of these pieces of meat.

The spices I add will help the flavor.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~
Fanny