Dream Fantasies

Today is my birthday! No, I’m not going to tell you how old I am, but I can bet my bottom. . . uh, dollar I’m older than you!

So on my birthday, I’d like to indulge in fantasy. This time, my fantasies are not about what sort of kinky thing I’m going to do either with someone else or alone.

This time, my fantasies are about kinky places I’d like to live.

Fantasies are like this golden glow on Lake Powell at sunset. They are real, but illusive and often fleeting. Maybe someday one of my fantasies will come true – and I don’t think I’d be there alone!

My brother and I can talk about almost anything – and we do. He came up with a wonderful mini-proposal for a nude farming polyamorous co-op. Let’s see, does that mean we’d all run around in the nude, planting potatoes and feeding the chickens, having more than one lover? I haven’t quite figured out how the co-op part fits in, but I imagine he’ll explain it to me.

How about a surfing diaper-lover organic restaurant? All the surfer dudes and dudettes would be wearing organic cotton diapers while they serve homegrown food to patrons.

Or an S/m peacenik orchard? The highway sign would sport a body tied to a cherry tree (a bit of symbolism there, huh?) while the locals wave peace signs at passers-by and invite them in to sample the . . . um. . . fruit.

Maybe an island bar for aging Scots? All the old folks (male and female) wear kilts in the traditional style while they drink and cavort around the island.

There should be a retreat location created for cross-dressing fetishist dog trainers. (Don’t ask.)

Or perhaps a Greek-style swingers health spa? We would all have Greek-style sex with other members while we wait our turn for a healthy colon cleansing in the sunning booth, drinking ginger tea.

I suspect there are many who would go for a thong orgy golf course. There would be a country club connected to it for special dances and parties when the awards were given out for the most revealing thong, as well as the lowest golf score.

Someone might enjoy a fantasy community with a public spanking bench where folks of either gender are disciplined by the Head of their Household and others who choose to help with the administration.

When choosing the nursing home for my old age, I’d like to be cared for by nude and virile young men and women of all sizes and shapes. If I got bored with the TV reruns, I would have them perform for me.

I’ve often thought about establishing a Home for Broken Down Broads. Aging prostitutes and dirty old men and women could gather for fun and games. Payment for “services” could be with Monopoly money so that those of us on Social Security could afford it.

There is definitely a place for a village where everyone could play whatever role they wanted – Doctor/patient, Daddy/little girl, Policeman/jaywalker, Teacher/student – all dressed their part. An endless list of role playing!

In any of these neighborhoods we would need to make sure there was an adult toy store, a porn movie house, a fetish clothing shop, and an animal shelter. All of these sites would give us access to horse-back riding, fresh milk and eggs, and plenty of farming areas. We would need to be self-sufficient, because an outside world would either avoid us completely, send local authorities after us, or beat a path to our door for entrance.

Please, please let your imaginations run wild and send me your suggestions. I’ll do whatever I can to make your fantasies come true – at least on this blog!

In the meantime, please support the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom. We all are being fingered (so to speak) for sexual acts far more benign than the fantasies I’ve created here.

I blow you a kiss,
Fanny

Gallimaufry

Well, that word should send most of you scrambling for your dictionary!

I’ll save you the trouble. Like my name (Lucette) it originally came from the French. It was a hash made out of meat scraps. That should tell you where my head is today as I write my weekly words.

It’s been “one of those weeks,” kids. I was away at a writers conference for five days and came back to a full schedule that I wasn’t as well prepared for as usual. I take pride in being ready for anything that comes along, but this week clobbered me.

My brain is full of gallimaufry – in its original meaning. An alternate meaning for the word is “miscellany.” So that’s where we’ll go today. Maybe by next week, one distinct flavor will start to emerge from the hash.

What scraps of meat make up my gallimaufry?

The 2008 Erection – I mean Election! I hate to admit that there are some positives about everyone who is running, but that’s the problem. Having “some” positives isn’t enough to excite me about any candidate. I am in great fear and shame for our country. No matter how progressive we may pretend we have become in our thinking, we are still run by those who think any body part below the neck is to be ignored, avoided and labeled obscene. I don’t want to get started on all the election issues I think are crazy!

Sex! Sure I think about sex a lot – what kind, with whom, when, how often, why, and a host of other related questions. I learned long ago not to equate Sex with Love, but I still think about it. Can I love someone without having sex? Of course, but then I wonder “Why bother?” After the orgasm, then what? You need to have a connection of the intelligence, or a shared “cause,” or an activity beyond yourselves. My thoughts run amuck with all these questions.

Kink! Just what, who, where, when, how is “kink”? The word “kink” is basically a noun or an adjective (if you add the “y”). If you want to have some funky fun, look in Roget’s Thesaurus for all the various meanings. Probably every single one of the words listed can be used in a sexual way. Let your mind run away with “bend or twist,” “twisted,” “complication,” “idiosyncrasy,” “bizarre,” “perverted,” and my favorite, “spasm of muscular tissue.” There were 71 different words in my copy of Roget. That’s a lot of ways to have fun!

Television! I have spent most of my many years not watching TV. As a result, I never know where to put my set. Oh yes, I have a TV/VCR combo that I bought a thousand years ago. It’s not a sleek whatever-it-is that’s the newest thing in entertainment. But it serves my purpose (which is nothing). I do use it for watching movies occasionally, or when someone calls me and says there’s something happening I really need to see (like 9/11). I’ve kept it in my bedroom, but I get more pleasure out of other things in my bedroom besides watching TV - like reading, sleeping, dressing and undressing, and sexing. So the TV never is turned on. I recently moved it to my office, across from my computer so I can write and watch at the same time. My two favorite channels are the Weather Channel and the Food Channels. (Wonder what that says about me?) But I forget I have it handy now, and it still doesn’t get turned on much.

NEWS! I read my news online so I don’t watch it on TV, nor do I subscribe to a tangible newspaper. I even subscribe to my local daily newspaper online, rather than let a stack of newsprint accumulate in the corner. “News” isn’t true news, anyway. It only takes us back to an absurd election, a so-called “war” I don’t believe in, sex scandals that aren’t, and silly celebrities. What’s “new” about all that?? I’d rather sit here with my gallimaufry.

Birthdays! I’m the poster girl for Libra. I love any celebration, but who gives a damn about getting older? I’m growing older as gracefully as I possibly can, but there is no graceful way to hide the fact that I’m no longer in my twenties. In many ways, I believe I’m more beautiful and gracious now than when I was in my twenties – and I’m certainly wiser. But one piece of my meat hash is that another birthday will be here and gone by the end of this month.

Relationships! Yes, I’m in one, and with an absolutely wonderful man. We live a thirty-minute plane ride apart and are with each other in person about one week out of every three. That time apart is both Hell and Heaven. I love my time alone, but I miss him like crazy when he’s not here. Will that change? I don’t know, and at this point, it’s not critical. Maybe not living together is the reason we have such a good relationship. The familiarity of living in the same house brings up all sorts of problems that could be avoided.

Gifts! My honey usually sends gifts of fresh produce from his garden or building materials like screws (there seems to be something rather symbolic in that!), but recently he’s started sending me sexy panties! My choice has almost always been more utilitarian, but I’ve learned how to enjoy sexy panties under my conservative work clothes. (sigh) Each day he wants to know the pair du jour.

Well, I’ve had my fill of gallimaufry for now. As I wrote this hash or miscellany, my thoughts began to clear. I’m not as scattered as I was when I started, and I see a post coming in the future out of each of these pieces of meat.

The spices I add will help the flavor.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~
Fanny