From Aging to AIDS

Last week, I talked about “Geriatric Sex” and received some interesting emails about it. I’ve been given permission to share these with you.

One comment comes from a man in Florida. He says:

"According to my urologist, the older men get, they seem to require oral sex (fellatio) from their partner not only to get an erection, but to keep it.

"Getting an erection is not as hard for us older men, as keeping it sufficiently for penetration into the vagina or if there is penetration, it's still important to keep an erection long enough to have satisfactory coitus and that's not so easy for us older men. Viagra, Levitra and Cialis help, of course, but not always.

"There is, of course, lots of good sex that does not necessarily need vaginal sexual intercourse and yet, Fanny, for a man, it's important, psychologically to be able to perform it; and that's true even if the man is receiving fellatio from his partner."

From another email:

"I imagine you can figure out that I think women who are older than I am are truly sexy and enticing. And I love intelligent women. I am mostly through with much of my kinky times (I don't have anyone with whom to engage in such stuff) but it's still interesting to look at some of the sites." [Was he talking about me and my blog site??]

And I received a little poem:

"The kink that was in me seems to be spent
Since my get-up and go, just got up and went
It might be dear Fanny, that you are much older
But you and your friend are considerably bolder
Yet maybe one day, I shall have me some luck
And meet a wild woman to give my whatchit a suck.
Or perhaps, it'll turn out to be a long time
And I think that it's best that I just end this rhyme."

I imagine many older men (and women) feel much the same way. My response is that no one should EVER be "through" with kinky times. I suspect I'm much older than most of you reading this blog (and so is my lover) and we are both still kinky. Having someone to do kink with is key, I think. If you think you’re too old, maybe it's time you found someone to suck on your “whatchit” and get you back into kink!

Sucking a “whatchit” goes both ways, don’t forget!

Others reminded me of the article in The Salon a couple of years ago by Liz Langley about sex and the much older generation. I’ve kept that article in my files ever since it came out and I use it with my college class on human sexuality. The “over 50” population is one of the most rapidly growing in the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

WHY, you may ask (especially if you are way under 50)?

Well, there are several reasons. Old guys who couldn’t keep it up before, even if they could get it up to begin with, have suddenly been given the wonders of the “little pill” to help out. Now they are running around the nursing homes or the “Gray Ghetto” neighborhoods and having a barrel of fun. A lot of them are finding healthy younger women who want a Sugar Daddy. Both men and women think they are immune from what they consider a “gay disease,” or that they are too old.

There is another reason for an increase in AIDS in older folks. Most men and women who love people of the same gender have had to keep quiet about their sexual preference and suddenly it is not such a taboo topic. They are able to be open about their sexuality – and act upon it.

As Ms. Langley quoted in her article, “Now, if you can get it up, cover it up.” (Said by Jane Fowler in reference to Bob Dole and his ads for Viagra.) It is imperative for even the geriatric set to learn the necessity of using a condom.

As Ice T said, “AIDS is such a scary thing and it's also the kind of thing that you think won't happen to you. It can happen to you and it's deadly serious.”

There is one quote that absolutely fries my groin and that comes from the late Jerry Falwell. “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”

I agree with Calvin Klein more, when he said “AIDS is an absolutely tragic disease. The argument about AIDS' being some kind of divine retribution is crap.”

Perhaps Susan Sontag sums it up best of all: “AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences: suicide. Or murder."

I end with this plea. On December 1, World AIDS Day, urge President-elect Obama to continue to fund HIV/AIDS programs. So go to this site and sign the petition, please.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~ ~
Fanny

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

May your "center" be as deep and colorful

as the center of this hibiscus.

Be grateful for all you have

and all you don't have

that you thought you needed.

Be generous with those who have too little

and tolerant of those who have too much.

Allow the spirit of gratitude show

in every act of your day.

YES!

Especially "that" act!

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~

Fanny

Geriatric Sex

Well, it’s Fabulous Fanny, here again with answers for your questions about sex.

I’ve recently had quite a few emails asking about sex for older people. This came as a response from my questions last week about losing your virginity. Most of them said it had happened so long ago that they couldn’t remember. I have a hard time remembering that, myself, and I’m not that old!

So back to sex in older people. I think sometimes it’s difficult for younger people to imagine their parents, or grandparents doing the nasty. After all, aren’t they over that? Shouldn’t grandma be in the kitchen and grandpa out playing golf? At best, aren’t they out dancing to a Lawrence Welk type band?

Not so fast there, you young sprouts. Think about yourself! Would you want to stop having sex just because you get a little older? If you enjoy it now, what makes you think you won’t enjoy it as you get older, too?

Oh, I know that some of you think the bodies of older people aren’t as limber as yours and therefore they can’t really get into that kind of activity. The surprise is that having sex tends to help keep them limbered up. There is absolutely no reason not to continue enjoying what you love doing for as long as you want to do it.

You’ve heard the myths, I’m sure, and those keep being perpetuated by people who don’t really know.

For example, you hear that a man can’t get it up after a certain age. That is only partially true, because not getting it up (or keeping it up) can be from some other medical problem. But I know many men who can still get a healthy erection well into their 70s and 80s, and beyond.

For those who don’t have the physical ability, but still have the libido, there are meds, more commonly known as “the little blue pill” or even “the little yellow pill.” They do work wonders. The blue pill does help with maintaining an erection, but it’s fairly short-acting. The latest (and best) is the yellow pill. It works for up to 72 hours.

Now that doesn’t mean a man keeps an erection for 72 hours! Lordy, no! What it means is that it gives him the ability to have sex whenever he feels the desire during that period of time. It takes a lot of the “planning” out of it and gives room for more spontaneity.

I just love spontaneity, don’t you?

Of course, if someone simply isn’t turned on, neither of these pills will work. The pills only work if you are turned on to begin with, and they help you keep it up.

This is where your partner comes in. It’s up to the other person in this relationship, to get the man turned on. We need to make sure he has a reason to want to take one of those little blue or yellow pills!

There’s another ugly rumor going around that women lose interest in sex during their menopausal years. I believe there are many women who do lost interest, but it’s a two-way street. If we reject our partners every time they make an overture, they’ll soon quit asking, and will start to look elsewhere.

If you want to keep your man from wandering, you’d better get interested again, and FAST. I know it can be too easy to get side-tracked into playing bridge, or shopping, or baking cookies for the grandchildren. But nowhere is it written that we are good for nothing more than that after a certain age.

Perhaps we think we are no longer attractive with our wrinkles and stretch marks. Maybe we have put on a little weight and think we cannot be appealing. Or maybe our mothers told us that once our child-bearing years were over that sex should stop.

Don’t believe that for a single second!

The best way for you to get interested in sex again is to think “SEX.” Get out of your cookbooks and into a little pornography. Can you truthfully say that a good sexy novel or picture or movie doesn’t get your juices flowing even a little bit?

I enjoy looking at “dirty pictures” with my partner. In fact, we share what we find with each other. It’s just one more way to let each other know what really does turn us on.

I leave you with that little bit of advice for now. I’m sure there will be more to come in my next post. Please just stop stereotyping the “blue rinse set.”

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~

Fanny

A New Direction

After thirty posts, I’ve noticed a trend in who reads these posts, and how people respond. Therefore (tah dah!) I’m heading in a little different direction. Because I get most of my responses via email, I get very few public comments on the post itself. That’s just fine, except that I think other people would also enjoy knowing what is being said by uh…other people. (big eye roll here)

Also, I started this mostly as an “advice” blog, but advice is appropriate mostly for my college students. They bombard me with questions, which I love answering. They are so eager to learn, but not about sex per se.

They are curious about what’s right, what’s not so right, how far can they go in being “perverted,” how to let someone know they are interested without being considered “brazen” or too forward. They want to know how to handle a boyfriend or girlfriend who either wants too much sex or not enough. They ask questions about breast implant, and why a young guy can lose an erection so quickly.

You know the sort of things they ask! We’ve all been there, and maybe we still are. Even at my age, it’s hard to know the best way to let someone know they turn me on! But I’m also extremely shy, which is probably why I feel I can open up more online.

So maybe this is a good place to ask how my readers would answer some of these questions.

At times, I might give you my own thoughts about the topic, then open it up each week to those of you who come here regularly (or irregularly). At other times, I may simply ask the question and see where it goes, then comment afterward.

What you have to say here will also help my students in their quest for answers. For example, even though many of them have already been sexually active from an early age, they want to know if they are unique or if they are about average.

So my question for the week is this: At what age did you lose your virginity, and was the experience traumatic or pleasurable? Any other comments you want to add to this will be appreciated by some very randy boys and girls in my classes.

Your responses will be kept anonymous, so please let me know how you want your comments to be marked. I will compile the answers and give a report. If you don’t say anything, I won’t have anything to report, so please show us your best answers.

I blow you a kiss,
Fanny

Election Wet Dreams

Who among us hasn’t had fantasies of at least one celebrity?

Years ago, in my young adult days, when everyone else had a crush on Elvis, my personal heartthrob was Harry Belefonte. Not only did I fantasize with him in mind and heart, but he actually showed up in some of my nighttime dreams. Even today, when he and I are both older (by many years), I can get turned on by him.

Believe it or not, another fantasy I had was good old Popeye! He was strong, and he could slay the dragons of any girl’s heart. And when he popped open that can of spinach, and his muscles grew, I could just imagine the testosterone that was flowing through his skinny body.

Who said cartoons were for kids??

Just for a few minutes, think about the one who has been your fantasy celebrity (or maybe more than one), and what you imagine yourself doing with that person. I’ll wait while you indulge yourself in a little decadent fantasy here.

Go put on some nice sexy music while you fantasize. Get dressed (or undressed). Have fun!

(pause)

Okay, that’s long enough!

Now, let’s get back to the elections for just a couple more minutes. This is an equal opportunity blog, so we’ll consider all four of the final candidates, and you might want to even consider others who didn’t make the final cut. I have my favorites there, too.

I have a male friend who is absolutely besotted with Sarah Palin, even though he doesn’t agree with her politics. She turns him on in a big way, although to be honest, she doesn’t do a damned thing for me!

So if you are a heterosexual man reading this, you might have been fantasizing about Madam Sarah. I’m sure you aren’t the only man in the world who fantasizes about her. ‘Fess up now!

Of course, you could be a man of either persuasion and find yourself fantasizing about any of the other candidates. There is something quite sexy about all three of the final candidates. Or maybe even Sarah’s Dude? He is rather cute, huh? Or maybe the scared future son-in-law who knocked up the daughter?

But let’s stick to the Big Four for purposes of this post.

McCain has been more handsome in the past, I think. I knew about him when I spent a few years living in Arizona, and he was a hunk then. Campaigning did a number on him, and it wasn’t good. But nevertheless, I’ve heard he cuts quite a figure with the old blue rinse set in Arizona.

Frankly, I think Biden might have more potential in a fantasy scene than McCain. He has that twinkle in his eye that is very suggestive, don’t you think? He’s not nearly as old, and things might still work a bit better (especially with that little blue pill – or the little yellow one).

And then there’s the new president-elect. In a way, he reminds me of a political Harry Belafonte, especially in his more casual moments. Whether or not you agree with his politics, he’ll be much nicer to watch in the news than our Current Occupant. I like it when he smiles, and I know he’s devoted to his wife. (And isn’t SHE a hunk!?)

Well, dream on, girls and boys! There are a few of the original contestants for the highest office in our country who would make a nice fantasy lover. I suppose I’ve thought about the abilities of every single one of them in some way or another. And that’s a nice fantasy in itself. Maybe a political orgy??

No, I’m not going to tell you which one I fantasize about most! I think I’ll stick with Popeye. He’s the only one who doesn’t seem to age – and oh, what that spinach can do!

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~
Fanny

VOTE!

Get a Free Sex Toy when you vote???

Hallelujah!

Amen!

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Many issues we sex bloggers have will be at stake!

So the main thing is this…

VOTE!!

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The Dark

I wanted to do something special for Halloween, but I’m writing this on November 1, All Saints’ Day, and you’ll probably read it on November 2. Each of these festival days can be wrapped up together in Samhain (pronounced SOW-in, where “ow” rhymes with “cow” and means “summer’s end” in Irish Gaelic).

If you knew what I know about the sex lives of some of the saints, you’d be surprised. I won’t let you in on their secrets this time, however – maybe next year. So since Samhain is generally celebrated from October 31 through November 5), I can legitimately discuss it in this post.

It is said that the veil between this earth and “the other side” is the thinnest at this time. The spirits cross into our world and cause all sorts of mischief. And if you don’t know what kind of mischief to get into, then I’m afraid I can’t help you. Do you really need suggestions?

It might help your imagination to know that traditionally, Samhain is a night when the High Priestess and High Priest perform the Great Rite. In a ritual, he dips his knife into her chalice. (blush) This may be done symbolically, but it is also carried out in reality as they proceed to have sexual intercourse on the altar.

Oh my! Have you ever fantasized about having sex on an altar? I actually have had sex on an altar, but I’ll save that story for another time. So go set up an altar in the middle of a meadow somewhere and get to it!

In the Celtic lands, the whole idea of dressing up in costume during this season began as cross-dressing. Of course, in Scotland the men wore kilts anyway, so the point was moot. I’ve always loved the idea of men in skirts (and women in trousers). That will be the topic of a future blog, I’m sure. Here is my closest friend in his kilt, a handsome divil!



During Samhain, the Dark Goddess, or the Crone, descends into all women. Last week I talked about my fascination with Lilith. In some lists, She is considered one of the many Dark Goddesses. When Lilith’s spirit descends into me, she reminds me that I, too, am one of the Crones. She helps me transition from a past life into a future one. She encourages me to look inside myself for those aspects of “me” that I never would show to anyone else ordinarily.

We don’t like using the word “Crone” much because it makes us think we are “old” and look like a hag. The Crone has become the modern day “witch.” But in ancient times, it was the third aspect of the Pagan Triple Goddess, and to be a Crone was to be honored and respected for your wisdom and insight.

I may be a Crone, but I feel like I become more sexual and sensual as I grow older, and all because of Lilith, my dark and powerful Crone Goddess. She transforms me into a wise, lovely, and sexy older woman. She helps me to break out of the restrictions of my past. That’s what Samhain was always about, and we women have had that taken away from us.

What are your restrictions? What boundaries do you want to break through this next year? Find your own Dark Goddess and let Her guide you through the Dark Mysteries.

There is a lot of sex magick waiting to be performed at this time of year, so let the sexual magick begin!

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~ ~

Fanny