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After last week’s blog on polyamory, an excellent question came up about the difference between “polyamory” and “swinging.”
http://www.libchrist.com/poly/polyvsswing.html is a lengthy post about the difference. I won’t try to improve on that. I believe that swinging can lead to polyamory, but it is not intended to do so.
Therefore, I would like to discuss only swinging today and let you come to your own conclusion about the difference. Years ago, it was referred to as “wife swapping,” but this seemed to be rather androcentric, and doesn’t come close to explaining the depth of the activity.
In spite of prudish societies, swinging has been in existence since the ancient Romans, at least, and probably even longer ago than that. Sexual curiosity is nothing new.
In more modern times, military personnel felt it was a duty to take care of the wives of buddies who were off to battle. The women who were left behind certainly needed something besides a dildo to satisfy certain sexual hungers, didn’t they? Even the Bible refers to a man’s obligation to take care of his deceased brother’s wife.
Sometimes there are parties where groups of people come together to play in front of others, commonly called an orgy. This can be an acceptable way of being either an exhibitionist or a voyeur. Some couples really get stimulated by watching their partner with someone else. Often, however, this ends up with two or more going off into another room for more privacy.
One early form of playing involved tossing your house keys into a bowl when you entered a party, then randomly taking out another set of keys. This would indicate the person you went home with for the evening, or longer. I suppose there was titillation in not knowing who you would end up with.
Years ago, I belonged to a traveling nudist club in Southern California. It was promoted as being for people who enjoyed sunning in the nude. I discovered that it was a thinly veiled swinging group. All of us did enjoy nudity, but the playing that took place at those parties proved there was an interest in more than just feeling the warmth of the sun on our bodies.
Various games were played to determine who would be your sex partner, or playmate for the evening. One game was to have the men stand behind a sheet with holes cut into it. They would place their erect penises through the holes and the women had to identify which was the penis of their husband or partner. Part of the fun was in going up and down the line, feeling each penis. I have a hunch that the women made intentional mistakes.
There are many forms of swinging. It is not always swapping partners or spouses. Sometimes it is a couple who invites a single person to join them. There is no jealousy involved, no “love,” no sense of ownership. It is simply something to give their sex life a shot in the arm. Often it is a natural progression among people who are good friends – an extension of their fondness for each other.
Once again, I send you to Google where you will find many formal organizations of people who are into swinging. If that is your fantasy, then go for it. You won’t have any trouble finding others also interested in playing. Some couples seek out others to meet when they travel to other states or countries. Please make sure everyone practices safe sex, and has been tested recently.
I hope I have broadened your perspective!
http://www.libchrist.com/poly/polyvsswing.html is a lengthy post about the difference. I won’t try to improve on that. I believe that swinging can lead to polyamory, but it is not intended to do so.
Therefore, I would like to discuss only swinging today and let you come to your own conclusion about the difference. Years ago, it was referred to as “wife swapping,” but this seemed to be rather androcentric, and doesn’t come close to explaining the depth of the activity.
In spite of prudish societies, swinging has been in existence since the ancient Romans, at least, and probably even longer ago than that. Sexual curiosity is nothing new.
In more modern times, military personnel felt it was a duty to take care of the wives of buddies who were off to battle. The women who were left behind certainly needed something besides a dildo to satisfy certain sexual hungers, didn’t they? Even the Bible refers to a man’s obligation to take care of his deceased brother’s wife.
Sometimes there are parties where groups of people come together to play in front of others, commonly called an orgy. This can be an acceptable way of being either an exhibitionist or a voyeur. Some couples really get stimulated by watching their partner with someone else. Often, however, this ends up with two or more going off into another room for more privacy.
One early form of playing involved tossing your house keys into a bowl when you entered a party, then randomly taking out another set of keys. This would indicate the person you went home with for the evening, or longer. I suppose there was titillation in not knowing who you would end up with.
Years ago, I belonged to a traveling nudist club in Southern California. It was promoted as being for people who enjoyed sunning in the nude. I discovered that it was a thinly veiled swinging group. All of us did enjoy nudity, but the playing that took place at those parties proved there was an interest in more than just feeling the warmth of the sun on our bodies.
Various games were played to determine who would be your sex partner, or playmate for the evening. One game was to have the men stand behind a sheet with holes cut into it. They would place their erect penises through the holes and the women had to identify which was the penis of their husband or partner. Part of the fun was in going up and down the line, feeling each penis. I have a hunch that the women made intentional mistakes.
There are many forms of swinging. It is not always swapping partners or spouses. Sometimes it is a couple who invites a single person to join them. There is no jealousy involved, no “love,” no sense of ownership. It is simply something to give their sex life a shot in the arm. Often it is a natural progression among people who are good friends – an extension of their fondness for each other.
Once again, I send you to Google where you will find many formal organizations of people who are into swinging. If that is your fantasy, then go for it. You won’t have any trouble finding others also interested in playing. Some couples seek out others to meet when they travel to other states or countries. Please make sure everyone practices safe sex, and has been tested recently.
I hope I have broadened your perspective!
I blow you a kiss,
Fanny
1 comment:
Dear Fanny, if I recognize that one person can never meet all my needs (physical, emotional, recreational, etc.), but my partner thinks one person can and SHOULD, what course(s) of action do you recommend?
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