Promscuity Part 2

Last Sunday, I addressed the issue of promiscuity, as described by Webster and Roget. This week I want to give other perspectives. As I said before, there are several factors involved in how one would view promiscuity.

I would want to take into account the age, the gender, the relationship of the individual to others, the lifestyle, and more. Think about the following examples:

• If a young teen is exploring the world of sexuality, is that promiscuous or is it normal experimentation?
• Is that different from a young adult who is engaged to be married, or perhaps is already married, and decides to mix things up?
• What about the couple in a committed relationship who mutually decides to become engaged in swinging?
• How about a widowed or divorced older adult who is suddenly free from work or family obligations, and now decides it’s time to enjoy life before s/he is too old or dead?
• What about the example I gave last week of someone who feels abandoned in the relationship and needs to find enjoyment elsewhere?
• Is there a difference between promiscuity and adultery? If so, what?

This is only the beginning of examples any of us could find. I believe it depends on how strongly someone feels about their commitment – or non-commitment – to a relationship. It depends on what a person’s individual needs might be. I would consider whether the promiscuity had crossed the line into sex addiction, which can be disastrous.

Soon after my divorce many years ago, I was promiscuous. I had gone from living with my parents to a girl’s dormitory to marriage for twenty years. I’d never had the chance to explore my sexuality, and I had many casual lovers. Those were enjoyable years, and I learned a lot about who I was, what I really wanted or didn’t want in a relationship, and the type of person I needed to be with (if with anyone at all).

If someone is in a committed relationship, I highly recommend that they discuss their individual needs and come to some agreement. There are ways to involve promiscuity in a civilized manner, and especially if you want to continue in the primary relationship. In today’s world, new ways of keeping a relationship alive are more generally accepted.

Check out my earlier post on polyamory, or another post I did on swinging. Just two weeks ago, I gave sites where you could find other couples interested in swinging.

Sometimes you discover that who you already have is better than anyone else, but just as often, you decide that it is better to take the leap and leave permanently. There are losses and gains on both sides of that question.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this. Please leave comments! In the meantime, think about the many ways you can refresh your world. Life wasn’t meant to be boring.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~
Fanny