A Frank Discussion

Back in the 80s, I stumbled onto a group in the now defunct Prodigy website, probably one of the first online services to have something like a forum or bulletin board for readers. There were all sorts of groups that discussed sex openly – part of the “sexual revolution” as well as the growth of the internet.

The amazing group I found was labeled "Frank Discussion" and they talked about activities that had been hush-hush for many years – such as BDSM, D/s, S/m, M/s, DD, TPE. It was sort of like "if you don't understand the initials, you don't belong here."

I felt like I’d been dropped in the middle of Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory! After years of thinking something was wrong with themselves, people were encountering others who craved the same sort of sexual stimulation. I couldn’t read enough of what they had to say about their lifestyle.

I toyed with both the Domme and submissive roles, and there are elements in each that appeal to me. I’m still not certain if I had been seeking these particular kinks, or if I was reveling in the new sexual freedom we were all discovering.

The cerebral connection was not happening only online. We were physically connecting with both women and men from that group whenever we could. I had been single for about 10 years at that time, and I fell madly in love with the group. Even now, one of the people I met in that group is someone I consider to be a dear friend. If you’re reading this blog, you know who you are.

One of the leaders in the group has since written several books. I corresponded with him and his two live-in submissive women. If he reads any of these blogs, he may recognize who I am! That was my first initiation to polyamory, also, and thinking about it all kept me in a state of constant arousal.



Then in January 1993, the Frank Discussion group was terminated. The topics discussed there were considered “too frank” by the corporation that owned Prodigy. We were left floundering for a place to meet people of like kind and discuss our so-called “perversions.”

The activities of that era would seem tame, however, compared to where it has evolved in today’s world of kink. Once it started, there was a virtual explosion.

We went from not having access to anything other than a woman in a bathing suit to being trussed up like a turkey to watching someone take a shit to you name it! Anal sex (formerly considered taboo) looked tame by comparison.

Today, some of the photography is pure art. And some of the best writing of sexual material fits into the category of true literature.

Recently this group of “pervs” came together to support one of the leaders who was involved in a “good vs. evil” situation with her daughter’s education. We continue to fight the battle through the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom. Threats continue, and we need to stand by her.

My post a couple Sundays ago addresses this issue by asking questions about what is truly indecent. Unless we ask the questions, our life here will not change. At times we get a glimmer that our lifestyle might become mainstream, but I fear that time is far away.

A strong belief I have about this lifestyle is that it takes a certain elevated intelligence in order to appreciate the beauty of it. It’s been my observation that those who are deeply involved have a more active imagination, and are more likely to need the extra creativity they bring to a sexual connection. Even though a person can still have fun with “vanilla” sex, it is difficult to let it stay at that level for very long.

I enjoy hard core as much as the next person, and my hope is that we don’t go too far the other way. When it is always there for the asking, is it possible that we could we get bored with it eventually?

Perhaps the fact that it remains generally taboo is one of the reasons we can continue to be aroused by such thoughts/ activities/ visuals. The exotic and forbidden always promises a thrill.

Let’s keep the electricity alive! And let’s make a stand for sexual freedom!