Pinterest Pleasures

Well, I did it! During the recent holiday season, I decided to start my own Pinterest page. You can go to it here. 

There are all sorts of “goodies” on there that some of you will enjoy, I’m sure. For example, you’ll find several that focus on Fantasy, like “Fantasy Housing”, “Satyrs and other mythical beings”, “Fae, Wizards, Elves”, “Wicca and other Magick”, “Woman Power and Magick”, “Otherworldly Visions”, “Places” - and so much more.

You’ll also find my own brand of humor on the “Off-color Fun” board. I have created a separate board for “Writing Inspiration” where I keep ideas and images I'll use in writing some of my stories. I especially enjoy finding inspirational quotes, and I have put those in “Words of Inspiration.”

There is one board on “Teaching Methods,” which may be why the Pinterest team thinks some of my posts contain content they don’t allow. They haven’t told me which ones in particular, but I have a hunch this is the board they are referring to. Until they take them off, I’ll leave them on for your pleasure (and mine).

There is a board on “Ancient Art,” another on “Feng Shui,” and another on “Exotic Dancing.”

Of course, I couldn’t create a Pinterest presence without including “Books” and “Writing Inspiration.” You might find what you enjoy most on “Living, Loving, and Relationships.”

Take a look to see what is there, and if you wish, feel free to “follow me,” and if you have anything you think would fit on one of my boards, please let me know.

~I blow you a kiss~

Fanny Jane Lucette

Who is Guilty?

I love to travel, but one trip I’ve stopped making is the “guilt trip.” Too often I was asked one of these questions or variations of such.

“Don’t you feel guilty about leaving your husband and children?”

“Don’t you feel guilty about quitting that job?”

“Don’t you feel guilty about having an affair?”

“Don’t you feel guilty about____?” You fill in the blanks. We each have our own destination in these trips.

There were two things early on that helped me stop going on those trips just because others thought I should.

The first was something I read by Wayne Dyer years ago, who said that when we’re caught up in our past, we’re feeling “guilt.” Time spent in the past keeps us from being in the now. There is way too much going on in my “now” to feel that guilt.

The second was a sentence in a small book that said guilt was only something we create to make ourselves feel bad, or to punish ourselves. I can’t remember the author, and I’m probably not even remembering it correctly. If I find either of these books I’ll give you the proper quotes another time. It’s the thought behind what both of these men wrote that I want to address.

People I know often wonder aloud why I never feel “guilty” about anything anymore. In fact, I’m more likely to get “Don’t you feel guilty because you don’t feel guilty?” Now that’s a big joke, isn’t it?

There is true guilt, of course. If I kill someone, which I’m not likely to do, I can be put on trial, judged guilty in a court of law, and serve time in prison because of it.

But I'm talking about that false sense of guilt we use to punish ourselves and ultimately project onto others in our lives. In other words, if I feel guilty enough, then I am passing judgment on myself, in case others don’t. That kind of guilt doesn’t solve problems or salve the hurt of others.

So what do we do with all that “guilt?” How can we stop doing that to ourselves? There are several ways we can handle it.

One way, of course, is to continue to punish ourselves, pretending that it will make everything all right if we make ourselves feel badly enough. That solution doesn’t feel good to me at all.

Another way, is to rectify the situation. We can go back and make amends to the ones we’ve hurt, and not do it again. Does this always take care of the situation? No, and sometimes it makes it worse, especially if they don’t know what you’ve done.

Some people repress the memories of it, hoping they’ll eventually forget. That kind of gnawing in our gut doesn’t go away, though, and we wonder why we develop ulcers, or worse. Cancer can result from an untended guilt.

I found that making amends to myself worked for my situation. If I treated others the way I sometimes treat myself, I wouldn’t have many friends left. When I forgive myself for what I supposedly did wrong, I am treating myself the way I would another friend.

I remember a client (I’ll call her May) several decades ago who came to me with all her “guilt.” After letting her vent for a while, I asked her to close her eyes and hold out her hands. I asked her to hold little May in her hands, caress her, love her, forgive her for doing what she did. Slowly I took her back to when she was a little girl. When I said, “Now bring little May up to your heart,” May started sobbing as if her heart had broken.

You might do that for yourself. Close your eyes and hold yourself in your own hands. Talk to the “you” that you hold, forgive “you” of whatever you did, and promise “you” that you don’t hold it against her/him. Speak for those others that “you” hurt, offer their forgiveness as well. It really does work in absentia, in spirit if not in the flesh.

Does all this mean you will never transgress again? Of course not, because we are human. But we have a choice. We can either permit all that guilt to eat us alive and prevent us from having an enjoyable life, or we can forgive ourselves for what cannot be undone and get on with life.

You bet I’ve done things I wish I hadn’t done, or that hurt other people, and I’m sure I’ll probably do it again. In the meantime, I don’t let it ruin my life. I can’t undo it, and in most instances, my life turned out better once I let go of it. The Higher Power in my life didn’t turn away from me in disgust, but rather said, “Okay, you’ve done this, you’ve chosen a path that might not have been the best. Let’s see what we can do next to make it turn out better after all.” In other words, I was given another chance to do something good with my life.

Letting false guilt take hold of my life is a rather selfish and arrogant way to live. When I get outside of myself, when I stop feeling sorry for myself, or punishing myself, I can do much more good in the world for others. I can take in more love because my heart is not clogged up with “guilt.”

A Million Ways To Make Love

When people come to me with questions about sex and/or their sexuality and the over-abundance (or under-abundance) of it, I have one answer.


“There are a million ways to make love. Sex is only one way.”


Well, maybe “a million” is a slight exaggeration. I have been known to use my Irish propensity for stretching the truth. But let’s say it’s “a hundred.” It's still a bunch of fun ways to tell someone what you think of them, and improve the quality of your love life immensely.


Maybe this is about more than just making love – maybe it’s about keeping your relationship alive for the long haul. I could tell a personal story about every single one of these, but you have your own.


Your assignment for the week, boys and girls, is to start your list of one hundred ways to make love. Feel free to pick-and-choose from this list. It will give you a head start. And don’t use these only for foreplay, please. Let them each stand alone as a statement.


1. Cook a meal together (in peace)
2. Give a neck rub (and only the neck)
3. Order a beautiful piece of lingerie for her/him online (let it be a surprise)
4. Brush his/her hair (gently)
5. Wash her/his back in the shower
6. Listen to what s/he has to say (incredibly sexy)
7. Hold hands in public (no matter how old you are)
8. Continue telling her/him how attractive he/she is (no matter how old or plump)
9. Give little special treats (non-fattening, of course)
10. Send flowers (even guys like to get flowers at work)
11. Serve breakfast in bed (or lunch or dinner)
12. Have cookies and milk at midnight in the kitchen (don’t want crumbs in the bed)
13. Do pillow talk (about all sorts of things)
14. Hide love notes (to be found at odd times and in odd places)
15. Read good books out loud to each other (maybe the book at the bottom of this post?)
16. Send text messages during the day
17. Learn their favorites (of anything – food, music, movies)
18. Take a life-drawing class together
19. Learn ballroom dancing together
20. Keep the ice-cube trays filled
21. Help make the bed
22. Fold the laundry together
23. Stop whatever you are doing and have “tea.”
24. Trade roles in household tasks occasionally
25. Make a kite, then fly it (without saying “Go fly a kite!”)
26. Sit side by side and listen to the wind (without saying a word)
27. Get up early enough to watch the sunrise together
28. Send “a little something” through snail mail (even if you live together)
29. Send an e-card to say “I love you”
30. Give him/her a chance to take a real nap
31. Keep yourself hygienically clean
32. Be pleasant (and desirable) to be around
33. Get up off the couch occasionally (the world will go on without you)
34. Give a foot massage
35. Plant a garden (anywhere)
36. Take time to watch the sunset together quietly.
37. Do a little star-gazing later
38. Play Santa all year with a tiny (inexpensive) gift in their shoe or stocking at night
39. Play Easter Bunny the same way (no, not that way!)
40. Do housework in the nude
41. Cook dinner in just an apron
42. Go to a nudist beach together (or join a nudist club)
43. Watch a good clean comedy DVD together
44. Watch a dirty DVD together (don’t say I didn’t warn you!)
45. Send a jpg in email of a position you’d like to try (later)
46. Create lots of little surprises (not too many, or they won’t be surprises anymore)
47. Spank him/her, then cuddle afterward
48. Cuddle without the spanking sometimes
49. Respect her/his privacy
50. Raise chickens or guppies or children together (enjoy the parenting process)
51. Plan meals together
52. Wash the car for him/her (or together)
53. Make sure her/his car has sufficient fuel and air in the tires
54. Talk about your fantasies
55. Talk about your beliefs
56. Talk about your disbeliefs
57. Talk!
58. Learn how to say “I love you” in a different language.
59. Splurge on a concert ticket for a favorite artist
60. Visit a museum
61. Accept his/her friends
62. Make a sand castle
63. Pull taffy (can’t be done alone)
64. Go fishing together (and bait her/his hook)
65. Plant an oak tree
66. Sing to him/her (even if you can’t carry a tune)
67. Make dinner a “formal” occasion once a month
68. Sleep in
69. Write a fairy tale (with your lover as hero or heroine)
70. Pick up after yourself
71. Replenish the batteries in his/her dildo
72. Pretend you’ve just met (and are telling the other about yourself)
73. Take vitamins
74. Dance in the rain (naked or clothed)
75. Hang up your bath towel
76. Buy a bottle of kid’s bubbles and blow bubbles at each other
77. Take a bubble bath, too
78. Have a Cool Whip fight
79. Say “please” and “thank you” often
80. Maintain your individuality
81. Lighten up!
82. Think possible
83. Watch your budget carefully (and plan it together)
84. Learn yoga or tai chi
85. Be generally courteous (we often neglect this with our partners)
86. Recycle
87. Be encouraging (rather than discouraging)
88. Practice humility
89. Live peacefully
90. Keep your cool
91. Walk together (in the woods, around the block, in a park)
92. Think “green”
93. Honor schedules
94. Be flexible
95. Create a scrapbook together
96. Have a snowball fight (if you live where there’s snow)
97. Go to a circus or carnival – and laugh
98. Share responsibilities (decide together)
99. Clean the shower stall when you’re finished
100. SEX!


Gosh! I’ll bet you thought I’d forget that one! Not a chance! To be honest, I could go on with this list forever, because I’ve just gotten started!


So maybe there are “a million ways,” after all. Tell me some of your ways, please.