From Aging to AIDS

Last week, I talked about “Geriatric Sex” and received some interesting emails about it. I’ve been given permission to share these with you.

One comment comes from a man in Florida. He says:

"According to my urologist, the older men get, they seem to require oral sex (fellatio) from their partner not only to get an erection, but to keep it.

"Getting an erection is not as hard for us older men, as keeping it sufficiently for penetration into the vagina or if there is penetration, it's still important to keep an erection long enough to have satisfactory coitus and that's not so easy for us older men. Viagra, Levitra and Cialis help, of course, but not always.

"There is, of course, lots of good sex that does not necessarily need vaginal sexual intercourse and yet, Fanny, for a man, it's important, psychologically to be able to perform it; and that's true even if the man is receiving fellatio from his partner."

From another email:

"I imagine you can figure out that I think women who are older than I am are truly sexy and enticing. And I love intelligent women. I am mostly through with much of my kinky times (I don't have anyone with whom to engage in such stuff) but it's still interesting to look at some of the sites." [Was he talking about me and my blog site??]

And I received a little poem:

"The kink that was in me seems to be spent
Since my get-up and go, just got up and went
It might be dear Fanny, that you are much older
But you and your friend are considerably bolder
Yet maybe one day, I shall have me some luck
And meet a wild woman to give my whatchit a suck.
Or perhaps, it'll turn out to be a long time
And I think that it's best that I just end this rhyme."

I imagine many older men (and women) feel much the same way. My response is that no one should EVER be "through" with kinky times. I suspect I'm much older than most of you reading this blog (and so is my lover) and we are both still kinky. Having someone to do kink with is key, I think. If you think you’re too old, maybe it's time you found someone to suck on your “whatchit” and get you back into kink!

Sucking a “whatchit” goes both ways, don’t forget!

Others reminded me of the article in The Salon a couple of years ago by Liz Langley about sex and the much older generation. I’ve kept that article in my files ever since it came out and I use it with my college class on human sexuality. The “over 50” population is one of the most rapidly growing in the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

WHY, you may ask (especially if you are way under 50)?

Well, there are several reasons. Old guys who couldn’t keep it up before, even if they could get it up to begin with, have suddenly been given the wonders of the “little pill” to help out. Now they are running around the nursing homes or the “Gray Ghetto” neighborhoods and having a barrel of fun. A lot of them are finding healthy younger women who want a Sugar Daddy. Both men and women think they are immune from what they consider a “gay disease,” or that they are too old.

There is another reason for an increase in AIDS in older folks. Most men and women who love people of the same gender have had to keep quiet about their sexual preference and suddenly it is not such a taboo topic. They are able to be open about their sexuality – and act upon it.

As Ms. Langley quoted in her article, “Now, if you can get it up, cover it up.” (Said by Jane Fowler in reference to Bob Dole and his ads for Viagra.) It is imperative for even the geriatric set to learn the necessity of using a condom.

As Ice T said, “AIDS is such a scary thing and it's also the kind of thing that you think won't happen to you. It can happen to you and it's deadly serious.”

There is one quote that absolutely fries my groin and that comes from the late Jerry Falwell. “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”

I agree with Calvin Klein more, when he said “AIDS is an absolutely tragic disease. The argument about AIDS' being some kind of divine retribution is crap.”

Perhaps Susan Sontag sums it up best of all: “AIDS obliges people to think of sex as having, possibly, the direst consequences: suicide. Or murder."

I end with this plea. On December 1, World AIDS Day, urge President-elect Obama to continue to fund HIV/AIDS programs. So go to this site and sign the petition, please.

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~ ~
Fanny

Geriatric Sex

Well, it’s Fabulous Fanny, here again with answers for your questions about sex.

I’ve recently had quite a few emails asking about sex for older people. This came as a response from my questions last week about losing your virginity. Most of them said it had happened so long ago that they couldn’t remember. I have a hard time remembering that, myself, and I’m not that old!

So back to sex in older people. I think sometimes it’s difficult for younger people to imagine their parents, or grandparents doing the nasty. After all, aren’t they over that? Shouldn’t grandma be in the kitchen and grandpa out playing golf? At best, aren’t they out dancing to a Lawrence Welk type band?

Not so fast there, you young sprouts. Think about yourself! Would you want to stop having sex just because you get a little older? If you enjoy it now, what makes you think you won’t enjoy it as you get older, too?

Oh, I know that some of you think the bodies of older people aren’t as limber as yours and therefore they can’t really get into that kind of activity. The surprise is that having sex tends to help keep them limbered up. There is absolutely no reason not to continue enjoying what you love doing for as long as you want to do it.

You’ve heard the myths, I’m sure, and those keep being perpetuated by people who don’t really know.

For example, you hear that a man can’t get it up after a certain age. That is only partially true, because not getting it up (or keeping it up) can be from some other medical problem. But I know many men who can still get a healthy erection well into their 70s and 80s, and beyond.

For those who don’t have the physical ability, but still have the libido, there are meds, more commonly known as “the little blue pill” or even “the little yellow pill.” They do work wonders. The blue pill does help with maintaining an erection, but it’s fairly short-acting. The latest (and best) is the yellow pill. It works for up to 72 hours.

Now that doesn’t mean a man keeps an erection for 72 hours! Lordy, no! What it means is that it gives him the ability to have sex whenever he feels the desire during that period of time. It takes a lot of the “planning” out of it and gives room for more spontaneity.

I just love spontaneity, don’t you?

Of course, if someone simply isn’t turned on, neither of these pills will work. The pills only work if you are turned on to begin with, and they help you keep it up.

This is where your partner comes in. It’s up to the other person in this relationship, to get the man turned on. We need to make sure he has a reason to want to take one of those little blue or yellow pills!

There’s another ugly rumor going around that women lose interest in sex during their menopausal years. I believe there are many women who do lost interest, but it’s a two-way street. If we reject our partners every time they make an overture, they’ll soon quit asking, and will start to look elsewhere.

If you want to keep your man from wandering, you’d better get interested again, and FAST. I know it can be too easy to get side-tracked into playing bridge, or shopping, or baking cookies for the grandchildren. But nowhere is it written that we are good for nothing more than that after a certain age.

Perhaps we think we are no longer attractive with our wrinkles and stretch marks. Maybe we have put on a little weight and think we cannot be appealing. Or maybe our mothers told us that once our child-bearing years were over that sex should stop.

Don’t believe that for a single second!

The best way for you to get interested in sex again is to think “SEX.” Get out of your cookbooks and into a little pornography. Can you truthfully say that a good sexy novel or picture or movie doesn’t get your juices flowing even a little bit?

I enjoy looking at “dirty pictures” with my partner. In fact, we share what we find with each other. It’s just one more way to let each other know what really does turn us on.

I leave you with that little bit of advice for now. I’m sure there will be more to come in my next post. Please just stop stereotyping the “blue rinse set.”

I blow you a kiss ~ ~ ~

Fanny